well, I just felt like it.
Ijust chose girls for the background who somewhat look like "Rebel angels" ^^ Well, at least I think so -.-
Hope you like it, will maybe change again one or two things.
EDIT. When I phoned him, he was still sleeping -.- Nevertheless he wanted to phone me back. And you were all right: Hearing his voice made that terrific feeling disappear *banzai* ^^ When he doesn't phone me today I'll do so tomorrow. ^^
Hope everybody's all right. tokomi
2008-05-31
2008-05-30
in a hurry and paniced
Konban wa, mina-san!
Hey again, I'm in a hurry, that's why it's just gonna be a short post.
You know the feeling of loosing someone? Yet I don't remember it clearly, I just woke up this morning thinking I may loose my guy even as a best friend. I don't know why but till now this feeling has even more increased and it is panicing me more and more. And I just now really don't know how to fight this.
You think phoning tomorrow would be a good solution to fight this? (Though I thought till now I need a distance... -.-)
I know it's quite confusing, but when you have any idea, even the weirdest one you ever had, please write it down and help me out.
Hoping to calm down again ... tokomi
Hey again, I'm in a hurry, that's why it's just gonna be a short post.
You know the feeling of loosing someone? Yet I don't remember it clearly, I just woke up this morning thinking I may loose my guy even as a best friend. I don't know why but till now this feeling has even more increased and it is panicing me more and more. And I just now really don't know how to fight this.
You think phoning tomorrow would be a good solution to fight this? (Though I thought till now I need a distance... -.-)
I know it's quite confusing, but when you have any idea, even the weirdest one you ever had, please write it down and help me out.
Hoping to calm down again ... tokomi
2008-05-29
standing still and not having any courage
waa, I am such a nuissance >< All of you may imagine this scene: me sitting in front of my table, walking around my table, glancing at my table, starring at my table -
ans on my table lying a phone.
Waaaa, I don't find the courage to phone him! And yet I don't know why >< Maybe it's because it's Thursday and I know phoning him today is bad because he's busy but ... The fact I am not finding the courage to talk to him freely and just phone him ( I just wanted to because of the test in technology tomorrow) is driving me crazy.
You know such a situation? And maybe I am exaggerating things but: Is this normal? And when? @-@ I am not understanding myself anymore ... waaaaa! *scream*
You may think when I am not able to talk to him freely - or because of blocking myself - I shall give up at him? or at least not talk to him for a while?
You may remember, I told you I maybe need a little distance, but this week I missed our conversations that much ... and now happening this!
Think I need to calm down a little more.
tokomi
ans on my table lying a phone.
Waaaa, I don't find the courage to phone him! And yet I don't know why >< Maybe it's because it's Thursday and I know phoning him today is bad because he's busy but ... The fact I am not finding the courage to talk to him freely and just phone him ( I just wanted to because of the test in technology tomorrow) is driving me crazy.
You know such a situation? And maybe I am exaggerating things but: Is this normal? And when? @-@ I am not understanding myself anymore ... waaaaa! *scream*
You may think when I am not able to talk to him freely - or because of blocking myself - I shall give up at him? or at least not talk to him for a while?
You may remember, I told you I maybe need a little distance, but this week I missed our conversations that much ... and now happening this!
Think I need to calm down a little more.
tokomi
2008-05-27
not moving forward
Konban wa, mina-san! ^^
Sry for the short post but I am in a hurry so please leave LOTS of comments! ^v^
Well, after all, the same with me as with Hikari: nothing is happening -.- I just phoned him Sunday evening, think I did mention that somewhere, too. After all, he's acting quite normal, not that weird again ^^
Do you think this change has got something to do with the fact he isn't in love anymore? I noticed this change in habit quite a few times now when he had fallen in love ... and there indeed were really enough times to notice! ^^
yeah ^^ lol.
Well, that's what all my confusion is about the last days and today ^^ Hope you will help me out! ^^
EDIT. Because Carrie didn't seem to understand me (you know, my english... ><) So I will edit here what I posted to her (extract; you'll also find it in the comments^^):
yeah ^^ lol.
what I meant with my question: You may remember this thing that our relationship suddenly cooled down when he fell in love with "no.4 ^^", and he nearly didn't talt to me when he had his girlfriend. But during the short time he wasn't in love he acted (though we didn't meet up properly, so I can't tell (also don't think this) completely normal again, as if there had been no time when we weren't talking.
Maybe this has something to do with each other? You think so? This is what I wanted to know actually...
Hope I made my problem clear now... ^^
Have a nice time. tokomi
@Carrie&Hikari: about Carrie's question whether we could "communicate ^^" in another way, too .... I'm sorry to say but I've only got icq ><. When there is no chance to communicate, putting a shout-box on one's blog, maybe Hikari's or mine would be an alternative - though yet I didn't find out how to manage this with the shout-box. (hope you're not wondering but I hink I posted this also somewhere else, yet I don#t remember where ><)
Sry for the short post but I am in a hurry so please leave LOTS of comments! ^v^
Well, after all, the same with me as with Hikari: nothing is happening -.- I just phoned him Sunday evening, think I did mention that somewhere, too. After all, he's acting quite normal, not that weird again ^^
Do you think this change has got something to do with the fact he isn't in love anymore? I noticed this change in habit quite a few times now when he had fallen in love ... and there indeed were really enough times to notice! ^^
yeah ^^ lol.
Well, that's what all my confusion is about the last days and today ^^ Hope you will help me out! ^^
EDIT. Because Carrie didn't seem to understand me (you know, my english... ><) So I will edit here what I posted to her (extract; you'll also find it in the comments^^):
yeah ^^ lol.
what I meant with my question: You may remember this thing that our relationship suddenly cooled down when he fell in love with "no.4 ^^", and he nearly didn't talt to me when he had his girlfriend. But during the short time he wasn't in love he acted (though we didn't meet up properly, so I can't tell (also don't think this) completely normal again, as if there had been no time when we weren't talking.
Maybe this has something to do with each other? You think so? This is what I wanted to know actually...
Hope I made my problem clear now... ^^
Have a nice time. tokomi
@Carrie&Hikari: about Carrie's question whether we could "communicate ^^" in another way, too .... I'm sorry to say but I've only got icq ><. When there is no chance to communicate, putting a shout-box on one's blog, maybe Hikari's or mine would be an alternative - though yet I didn't find out how to manage this with the shout-box. (hope you're not wondering but I hink I posted this also somewhere else, yet I don#t remember where ><)
2008-05-25
wondering about the phone
Hey everybody ^^,
Okay, thanks for your comments so far, really all of you support me a lot (also my friends who sometimes read that stuff here, but don't post here^^)
@littleCleo: Why don't you wanna leave comments, too? I know you're more to check out what's going on, but feel free to leave one ^^
@ neko: Why should you be too unexperienced to give me advices? ^^ Well you see, would I have tonnes of experience in this topic I wouldn't be discussing about this topic here ... Just tell me what you think ^^ I would be relieved to hear your advice ^^
@Carrie: okay, I'll just make a comment to each number, like you did.
1. Well, is it easier to say I live one hour drive south of Dortmund...? This is maybe easier ^^ Well, we have pretty much countryside here -.- For example, I have to drive half an hour to get to Menden, where I go to school and also some of friends (including my guy) live. You got now a little more where I live? @.@
2. Yeah, of course I also hug all of my friends when I feel like it. That's also why at first I didn't thought that this stuff betweenmy guy and me seemed to be different from normal -.- Though they it somewhat seemed normal and yet not -.- *terribly confused*, we both didn't intend to change, though he did after he had another crush.
So you maybe see now, because normally that also would be normal for me, why this whole thing is so confusing for me...
3. Yeah, at first they seemed really happy (I know from that friend I have in the same class than my guy's ex-girlfriend.)In the case of love, my friend told me so, she should be the same type: Just having a glance and saying "whaa, my greatest love ever!" -.- I think that was the main reason why they got along that well together...
4. -.- yeah, this actually is confusing not only me, his whole environment is, especially since he had that type of girlfriend... ^^
5. Wow, despite my weird english you got they problem *banzai* *hugging* ^^
random question: Would you phone him in this situation, when you a little confused, yes or no?
(I think I'll do so later, because I'm used to be confused ^^)
You know, I think I don't wanna keep the distance that far I am not even able to talk to him. And on the other side, even if I'll hurt myself, I don't wanna keep a distance. Because if I did, it would nearly be as the same as the time when he had his ex...I because I don't want that, I think at least phoning him would be the better solution wouldn't it?
Because it is weekend, nothing new happened. Will keep you updated ^^
tokomi
Okay, thanks for your comments so far, really all of you support me a lot (also my friends who sometimes read that stuff here, but don't post here^^)
@littleCleo: Why don't you wanna leave comments, too? I know you're more to check out what's going on, but feel free to leave one ^^
@ neko: Why should you be too unexperienced to give me advices? ^^ Well you see, would I have tonnes of experience in this topic I wouldn't be discussing about this topic here ... Just tell me what you think ^^ I would be relieved to hear your advice ^^
@Carrie: okay, I'll just make a comment to each number, like you did.
1. Well, is it easier to say I live one hour drive south of Dortmund...? This is maybe easier ^^ Well, we have pretty much countryside here -.- For example, I have to drive half an hour to get to Menden, where I go to school and also some of friends (including my guy) live. You got now a little more where I live? @.@
2. Yeah, of course I also hug all of my friends when I feel like it. That's also why at first I didn't thought that this stuff betweenmy guy and me seemed to be different from normal -.- Though they it somewhat seemed normal and yet not -.- *terribly confused*, we both didn't intend to change, though he did after he had another crush.
So you maybe see now, because normally that also would be normal for me, why this whole thing is so confusing for me...
3. Yeah, at first they seemed really happy (I know from that friend I have in the same class than my guy's ex-girlfriend.)In the case of love, my friend told me so, she should be the same type: Just having a glance and saying "whaa, my greatest love ever!" -.- I think that was the main reason why they got along that well together...
4. -.- yeah, this actually is confusing not only me, his whole environment is, especially since he had that type of girlfriend... ^^
5. Wow, despite my weird english you got they problem *banzai* *hugging* ^^
random question: Would you phone him in this situation, when you a little confused, yes or no?
(I think I'll do so later, because I'm used to be confused ^^)
You know, I think I don't wanna keep the distance that far I am not even able to talk to him. And on the other side, even if I'll hurt myself, I don't wanna keep a distance. Because if I did, it would nearly be as the same as the time when he had his ex...I because I don't want that, I think at least phoning him would be the better solution wouldn't it?
Because it is weekend, nothing new happened. Will keep you updated ^^
tokomi
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