somewhat a final goal and a reincarnation

Hey guys! ^^

How are you? Doing well? What you see at the side is one of my very new fave manga series. You may have heard of it, it's "Ciel-The Last Automn" by Ju-Yeon Rhim. Sounds in my ears very korean, and indeed, it's a manwha ^^ Is it also publishe din the US or in Spaine, Yuki and hIkari?

I'm cutting it very short today because I've only got a very short amount of time. Yesterday I was at a party of my friend who's going to US for one year, she's the one who thought she'd seen my guy with another girl. It was really fun ^^ And I didn't feel such alive and happy for a very very longtime ^^ I was able to meet Sarah and her sister, and a lot of other people who were a lot of fun ^^ Came home late, so hope you'll understand my weird english.

You may have read it in my comment yet, but I did phone my guy on wednesday. First he was really surprised and all that stuff, but then everyhitng did go very well. For more details read my comment in the last post, I'm a way too tired to write it down again ^.- Well, maybe all you guys will critize me cause I phoned him, but as I said, I wanted o make clear what things are. So, it's friendship, a somewhat close friendship and yet not. It's closer than the way I thought it to be ^^

But I think this will be all from my side towards him for a while. I will be living my life now, sometimes him passing my road as Hikari would say ^^ Sometimes maybe more ofte passing it. I've got three more year so all oppurtunities are open. These last days we did talk at school more ofte again (after me phoning him),we laugh together etc. Maybe it also has it's advatntages that we're in one class. But after all, I don't want to chase after him all the way. I'm also proud enough to say I'm living my own life. You understand me??
I'm feeling alive again. I made my peace with my decision. Right now, I'm allright (I suppose) with the new strengh from out of holidays and my frineds ^^ So maybe I was really reincarnated .... ^^
Maybe I'll post a manga yokoku the next time, found some good manga online.

Hope you'll have a good time. HUgging you all and being proud of her decision, hoping she was chosing the wright path of love. tokomi

returning from school

Hey guys! ^^

Hope you all had a nice day. well, actaully I thought I was too lazy to make new post out of this, but I did nevertheless ^^. Will make something like a final post at the end of my first week in school again...or tomorrow?? Wait and see ^^

Well, refering to littleCleo-chan:
Up to now, I've got 5 out of 11 classes with him, and he's, as hikari would call it, in my plod ^^ (was that right???) which actually means we're in one class.

Oh wonder, he's able to talk to me again freely !!!!!?? -.- Actually, as always, I don't know what to think of hhis behaviour. Maybe this is just going to be somehting like a school freidnship, or a real one (I "hope" not more ^^), I'll wait and see, but chances are quite good for a friendhsip again ^^

And if not, that won't be MY problem xD in a way, it's all up to him now ... By the way, a friend of mine said he should have a new girlfriend?? She thought she'd seen him with a girl in town, to vcut it short. Maybe he as, maybe not, because this friend is a type who often misunderstands things and has little wierd ways to think ^.-

Well, that's all for today. Hope you'll all read this though it's only a short post.
miss you all, tokomi

looking back but forward

Hey guys! ^^

Hope you enjoyed your holidays ... well, for litle cleo-chan and me it's the last day after all! Refering to my guy, I think my attitude changed quite during this time. As I wrote in a comment on hikari's blog, I changed "mentally". I don't think a guy as him has to be a center of my life, so my plan for this year will be to try to get closer to him again. But if he doesn't want it or as I wrote at hikari's, "cooperates", I think they're won't be any chance for me any more. So, I made my peace with that decision. You may remember, I also told you about that final-conversation-thing, which is also "part of my plan" *hoho, hoho* ^^

I'm quite curious how this will develop. But after all, I've got some other things to concentrate on. This year wil be very improtant for me, and especially physics will be important if I will be able to study Enigneering at University. To cut it short, I'll have a big goal, which I will reach not matter what. Hope with this strategy there won't be enough space to think about the ways my guy did hurt me ...

You think this okay, after all? How does everybody do? I wasn't able to go to Sarah's, as littleCleo was, because I had something like a burn-out-syndrome in combination with my stomach hurting >.> @.@ >.<

Hope to hear soon from you. tokomi

sometimes a (little) deadlock in the case of (new) self-confidence

Hey, hope you had a nice time! ^^

well, the photo at the right is mery very fave scene in fullmoon, where she realizes what it means to live ^^ In germany they wrote as translation "the wind to my new self" In particular, it mainly is like me in my current situation.
to cut it short: the reason for me posting again: yesterday I was at a party of a friend of littleCleo and mine who will be going to California in an exchange for one year. You may not know, but she was the friend who is in one class with my guy's ex-girlfriend.

I didn't get it at first, but then I saw some photos which her classmates gave my friend as a present. And on one photo, there was a girl who looked exactly like the one on the photos of which I knew that they showed his ex-girlfriend. So after all, (I am quite sure about it though I didn't ask) that his ex was there yesterday. -.- After all, personally, to cut it short, I don't like her! For me, she's too self-centered, doesn't care what other would like to do, is too fancy-natty (hope this makes clear what I want to express) Of course, I can#t really tell what she's like after just one evening, but that's my first imperssion.

Well, in that part of being self-centered she's totally the same as my guy, but even worse! >.<>.< ! By the way, little cleo yesterday told me he had a new icq-number, and added her but didn't add me (till now?). Another point which hit me a little.

So actually, I seem to have a (little big) lack of self-confidendce. Just wanted to inform you, after all ^^

Hope you'll help a little out. tokomi

P.S. hikari what was the matter about Ty? And id you get it about that html-thing? Will post for your birthday later >.-- (Though it's a little late then.) Hope you enjoyed your birthday ^^ HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! *waaaa* ^^ *banzai*