Well, today nothing really happened, but I just realized somehting very important abuot my feelings, which is also quite confusing:
Of course I love my guy that much it hurts. But what I know for sure now is that I still don't want him as a boyfriend. Maybe I just want to get back to that time... Yet I don't know why, I just realized this training Tang-Soo-Doo. ^^
Does this anbody know of you? It's just a comment beside the main discussion so...
Anyway all have a good sleep. ^^ tokomi
@carrie: my internet just deleted my VERY LONG entry, so beacuse I'm quite in a hurry you'll get your answers tomorrow morning, kay?
2008-05-23
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 Kommentare:
Ah, Alright, I'm looking forward to your answers ^^
That really sucks when the internet suddenly deletes your entry, especially when it was very long..
Okay, you say, you love him so much but you don't want him as a boyfriend. And as I said I don't think it is that good. You DO NOT want him as a boyfriend, so it it is like that you can't say that you are always hurt seeing him with another girl (okay, you didn't say that, but you get my point, right), because it is also your fault right? If you don't say anything this will always go on and won't change!!
Okay, I think I said that a few times already xDD Sorry, it isn't meant to sound harsh >_>
I don't know Tang-Soo_soo. I actually don't know much about Martial Arts...
Carrie ^^
Ooh ooh! I know exactly what she's talking about. that's why i rejected my guy. I think it's the fear that he'll leave you. No one wants to think of that heartbreak when they're so inlove, especially if it's so hard to fall in love with someone other than him. But thankfully you realized what you really felt. Now we shall make it through together *theme music begins, standing in pride*
Ugh.... we are both in a pickle here -.-
Hikari
Not knowing much about Martirial Arts is okay, will put a link for this onto this blog anyway, so you may have a look.
Tang-Soo-Do is korean and VERY similar to Teakwando...a mix of kickboxing and judo ^^
May have a look at the link, about the other topic I'll post later.
So, now hoping it won't try to delete my entry again ^^ I'll hope to answers all your qestion as clear as possible. To cut it a little shorter thatn the first entry *gr* , I just listing the answers to your questions:
1st: ^^ Wahoo, from Berlin. Well, I'm from Northreihn-Westfalia, you know the „Sauerland“? Somewhat my city belongs to this region, but it's also very close to Unna and Dortmund... ?-? You know what I mean? @.@ ^^
2nd: Correcting a statement of yours ^^ I think you were refering to this „mental distance“, wren't you? Well, of course I don't keep that kind of distance between me and my friends as well ^^ (for me that would not be about friendship ^^) Anyway, normally my friends say about me I am the one to stand up talk to strangers, so they think I am pretty openminded (can't say for myself, but that's what they say -.-) Actually, what I was refering to was physical distance between bodies. And that was also the distance I was talking about when saying when „the both of us were lying on a bed we didn't keep that distance...“ Hope I got that clear now...^^
3rd: Alright, can you tell me who he had a crush on already?
I think the best will be to make a sort of listing. You might remember I told you I know my guy (as a friend) for nearly one year now, but maybe you'll have to know we really only got to know each other trough technology in school and don't really have a clique in common. These are only the girls he had a crush on from the time I know him, kay?
1)Diana – don't know her
2)Nina – one of my closer friends. We got also that close because he was interested in her and spent more time as usual with my clique. During that time I also saw him acting towards a girl he had a crush on...Well, I told him from the very first moment he his chance would be a little one, but yet he couldn't stop trying (can understand him somehow xD) so I had some chances to see him acting around her.
3) The time he had no crush I knew about, but acted that way towards me...
4)Miriam – don't know her
5)Conny – his ex-girlfriend. Actually, nobody even of his guyfriends, didn't know her before. They just saw each others' profiles at a forum, decided to meet up and after the first „date“ they were going out! To be honest, nearly everybody who knew my guy was shocked... Well, at frist they seemed happy but after a while they got tired of each other and broke up... (That's how it goes with persons you don't know ^^)
6)Tanja – don't know her
So after all, most girls he falls for are complete strangers, even to himself >.< So if he really was in love with me, it would be really the first and only time for him to fall for a close friend, so there isn't an example which shows how he would behave ... Answers this weird english your question? ><
4th: So he said he has no feelings for you and stuff...and that he doesn't intend to give up... Didn't you feel anything when he told you that O_O?
Well, of course I did feel bad, because he told me this before I realized I had fallen for him for a while. And because he just then was in love with „no.4“ ^^ I thought from the very first moment I had no chance, and just thought about ignoring my own feelings. Yet today I know I can't, but maybe it's too late for this...And that's also why I am that unsure, because I don't get his quick changing feeling I the case of love. ^^
5th: About the P.S.
Well, of course it will hurt, but if I didn't knew for sure he didn't care about his friends back that time he had a girlfriend, I really would be fine witht staying like this, and it somewhat wouldn't matter to me whether he had a girlfriend or not. But with my terrible feelings ... well, we had this case before ...
So hopes thia answers your questions Carrie ^^
About your comments this time:
@ carrie: don't be worried, friends sometimes do sound a little harsh, but I am not the type of person who gets hurt this easily ... ^^ So don't be worried, okay? It's me who asked you about your opinion.
Yeah of course you're right, and I think someday I'll talk with him about that again, when he hasn't got a girlfriend might be the best time...^^ But to be honest, I think even for myself especially these days a little distance is a little better (all of you might call me mad now, but I think I'll need some time -maybe a week or so- to „recover“. Of course, I don't wanna miss his phone calls, but e.g. meeting up would not be okay for me just now. You get my point, at least a little?
You know, I am trying to move forward again. Maybe he as a boyfriend would be fine, I can't tell you. But I can only repeat I don't wanna loose him as a friend...I think I just need some time to think about that, but nevertheless I try to get closer to my guy again. even though it might hurt, it's better than ignoing my feelings, isn't it?
Some of my closer friend (Nina ^^) also had a closer relationship with another guy -her best friend- just now, then they went out together and finally he broke up ... You don't wanna know how bad she's feeling right now, because she lost somewhat both: the guy as her boyfriend as all, but the guy as her best friend she lost as well, because there isn quite a distance between them now, even though they pormised themselves their friendhsip wouldn't change ...ähm ^^
@ hikari: So after all, refering to the paragraph above, I am doing better again, and of course I know you will help me ^^ *standing next to you in pride* ^^
What do you say to these decision? You think I might phone him today? Just thought about this might be a good idea...
hope to hear from you soon. Tokomi
P.S. Added a link, you might have a look ^^
Hey Tokomi ^^
1. Ah.. Yea, i heard of Sauerland, but I don't really get where you live.. But now I know you live in NRW xD
2. I was referring to both, mental AND physical distance. You know, I don't keep both distances, it doesn't amtter who it is, when I feel like hugging someone, I just do it, whether it is a girl or guy. And they are already used to that, I mean that I don't really keep the distance, and I just think it is normal (in my case xD) SO i actually can't say anything about you two lying on the bed together. I also did that some times but I wasn't in love with the guy though..
3. I see, I thought you two had a clique, so I misunderstood that. And his girlfriends were almost just strangers for you? And he dated a girl after seeing her the first time 8knowing her through forum)? oh lol I would be shocked too, honestly xD
4. And that's also why I am that unsure, because I don't get his quick changing feeling I the case of love. I'm actually asking me that too xDD
5. yeah... it really is bad that he "forgets" his friends when having a girlfriend. If it weren't for that you could really only be a frind of his. but it is not like that...
What else.. Okay, that is good, i was a little worried that I sounded too harsh ^^
Yeah you should talk to him, it is probably a good idea to wait until he hasn't a girlfriend. But hopefully he won't have a new one after 2 weeks >_>
Maybe it is also good to keep a little distance, it isn't good to be like "depending" on him all the time.
Take your time (but not too much though xD) to think about that. it is complicated and confusing I know. So if you aren't that sure, maybe you shouldn't rush, because that could be a mistake. yes, don't ignore your feelings, it often gets worse, you know?
Oh, that is pretty sad, she must feel terrible >_> loosing both.. And they often say when breaking up they want to stay friends, but it is almost always not gonna happen. It will NEVER be like before going out actually.
I don't want you to experince that, tokomiiii T_T.
(Did your guy also go out with her? or just had a crush on her?)
Carrie
Hey tokomi,
Well, you really got the point abut me and my ex. I know it's hard to keep friendship but I once succeeded in doing so, why not this time too? I think after this year without him things would have changed anyway, so it was only a matter of time.
@Carrie: yes it is sad and it really will take time until I can fall for a boy again.
sorry for interfering! *looking guilty*
Post a Comment